PG please, no kidding

Not too long ago, a brave friend did what I had no courage to do: Yell at a parent who allowed her two-year-old kid to make a din during lunch -- for two effin' hours.

I am still waiting for a braver friend to go one step further -- slap the parent AND the kid on my behalf, but I don't wanna go there (to Hell, I mean).

My friend's yelling got me thinking.

To set the record straight, I love all kids -- just as long as

a) they're sleeping in their pram
b) there's a plaster over their mouth
c) they're still curled up inside their mummy's womb.

I don't know about you, but the last I checked, I have no motherly instincts that want to nurture every screaming child, so please don't yell at me for being kid-intolerant.

I simply cannot calmly float over to a wailing kid in public, gently wrap my arm around that rascal and press his head against my breast and hush him to a lull like Mother Nature. Sorry, I just can't.

But I don't hate kids per se.

I do like some of them -- the well-behaved ones.

And in my defence, I can be patient with wailing kids. For 15 minutes, max.

Once that time limit is up, my DNA automatically rejects wailing kids -- even if they're still cradled in my arms -- and only God knows what I'll do when that happens.

But let's not get distracted by the wailing -- and get back to the real targets of my post: Parents who don't bother.

I always believe that kids behave the way they do because their parents allow for such behaviour.

So, while I do have some tolerance for kids, I have zero for their parents.

I know I'm not qualified to say this since, God forbid, I don't have any kids yet. On a side note, I cannot imagine what evil I'd bring to this world if I have mini replicas of myself. But if I do have kids, I promise I'll cane the hell out of them if they misbehave.

Now, I'm not about to give a lecture to parents, but in my opinion, I believe in not sparing the rod, lest I spoil the child.

But that's just me.

I mean, I think I'm a pretty decent adult partly because, as a kid, my buttocks and the house cane were like the best of buddies -- they meet regularly and make a lot of noise when they do.

Some parents are very liberal -- they patiently prep-talk their kids. Hey, I have no problems if that works for you, really.

But when prep-talk fails, then parents, you'll have to let the cane do the talking.

If you're too soft-hearted (or lazy) to cane your kid, then society will have to do it for you.

So if you don't do the caning, then the school discipline master will. Or, the NS sergeant will have to help you discipline your kid. Perhaps, you can leave it to your kids' future bosses (or colleagues). Worse, you let the court mete out punishments for your kids.

I know it's grim, but it's not an unreal possibility.

So dear parents, do us and society a favour. Beat the hell out of them if they misbehave.