Cher, you think you're so damn good issit?

Teachers, listen up.

You now have a new role to be formalised into your job: Let students HATE you.

Basically, forget about being popular and well-liked by students.

Let them destroy your morale. Let them embarrass you. Let them smear glue on your seat. And let them give you a heart attack and nearly kill you.
 All those, I've done. And I'm glad I did them.

I used to love hating teachers -- because as a teen, I had nothing better to do with my life.

When I was 14, my school welcomed a batch of trainee teachers. Oooo, great. Fresh victims. Welcome to Hotel California.

I made one teacher tear in class by calling her names just because she looked like a Muppets character (30 marks). I bought fart spray and secretly aimed at another, just because she was fierce to us (60 marks). I was even brazen enough to cover glue on yet another teacher's chair (70 marks) just because she didn't give us breaks in between lessons.

In upper secondary, my trouble-making went from pranks to downright defiance and hooligan-like.

I'd challenge teachers and question their intelligence. Huh, cher, you teach English one leh. How come you don't know this word?! Cher, if you so clever you go and be doctor lah. Come and teach Physics for what?

Once, I led a mutiny in class, against an unpopular teacher. On my cue, my very cooperative classmates leaned on our desks and slept through most part of the lesson.

Testing my teachers' patience became an everyday affair.

One of them was a discipline mistress who was determined to put me in my place. We both put up a good show of brinkmanship -- I test her, she disciplines. She softens her stance, I test her again. She presses on.

Finally, there was the unforgettable experience when I nearly gave my teacher a heart attack and killed her in class.

Mrs Y was a very kind hearted teacher who takes pains to ensure we understand her subject. She's a dedicated teacher -- despite her weak health, she will still come to school so that we won't miss lessons.

But instead of appreciating her, I made her so upset one day, that she chided me until she hyperventilated.

It was no joke.

She turned pale and had to sit to collect herself. I swear the frail-looking Mrs Y looked like she could collapse in front of us any time.

My classmates were so shocked that one of them sprinted to the general office for help.

Our vice-principal rushed to our class and naturally, had to ask how this happened.

At that point, Mrs Y spoke.

"It wasn't his fault... it's just that I'm weak," she spoke up for me, in slow, deliberate breaths.

I felt like a scumbag there and then. I swear I will push me off the chair and punch the freaking daylights out of me, if I could timetravel to that fateful day.

I am certainly not proud of myself at all.

In fact, I'm ashamed. But that doesn't mean I forget what I've done to teachers.

My secondary-one teacher Ms C once told me matter-of-factly that it's students like me that kill their careers and passion for teaching.

I'm writing this today because it is not easy for teachers to do their job these days.

Gone are the days when teachers can pull our ears as if to yank them out of place (Miss Chong Chieh Eng, P1-3, Mei Chin Primary School). Or pinch our nipples so hard that we yell apologies (Mr Henry Bartholemew, P5, Mei Chin Primary School). Or take a ruler and randomly hit our palms just because we weren't paying attention (Madam Ang Bee See, P6, Mei Chin Primary School).

These days, teachers not only face replicas of students like me. they also have politicking within the common room and complaints from parents to deal with.

They have to worry about idiots filming them in class and posting unflattering footage on YouTube. They have to mind their words when scolding students (no more phrases of "crafty rats", please). And they can't even make the cut to discipline their student's designer hairstyles. 

But please, don't give up.

You will be unpopular. And you will be hated.

In retrospect, my years of pranks and defiance have made me respectful and mindful to others' feelings.

And I am humbled because these lessons are taught to me by the very teachers whom I bullied in school.

Despite my cruel nature, they didn't give up on me.

So teachers, let students hate you. Because eventually, they will learn to love you.