The Ex Factor

Not too long ago, I met up with the ex, whom I hadn't seen in quite a while.

She's still the same person I remember her as -- apart from longer hair, she still looks the same. She's still talking way too rapidly and gossips too much for her own good.

I had the best four years with her and I realise that day just how much I miss this witty and endearingly bitchy woman.

Yet, one thing is very certain: Though I miss the ex-boss, I'm never ever going to work for her again.

Sure, she's never once raised her hand to ketok my head and berate me in the office, while a concerned colleague is filming away.

In fact, she's never raised her voice -- or even an eyebrow -- at me when I was her subordinate.

The only thing that was ever raised, in my four years with her, was my pathetic salary.

But I'm sure I will never want to go back and work for her, though ironically, it was the workplace that had built this very love, respect, and friendship with her.

Not that the ex had asked me to join her again, but if she had, I would turn her down in one minute, the way I would say no to earnest salesmen on the street asking me for "just one minute".

I firmly believe that colleagues can become friends and I don't think friends can become colleagues -- which is the direction the ex-boss and I have taken.

The next few days, I started thinking about all my other ex-es.

I've had my fair share of working with, and for various ex-bosses, given that I had an early taste of working life, selling bed sheets and pillow cases at Takashimaya when I was 15.

These ex-es come in all shapes and sizes and hail from all over the place -- some of them, I believe to this day, had either come from the wilderness or had managed to smuggle their way out of hell.

While I'm thankful I hadn't worked for bosses who made me feel like I was a slave -- oh, wait, I take that back. I almost forgot about Alvin Bong (surnames have been changed just for the heck of it).

I mean, while I haven't had abusive bosses, I have encountered very nasty ones.

Yet, I'm thankful for such ex-es.

Every time I leave one nasty boss, I take along with me what little goodness they have left in them.

One particular egoistic boss reminded me how vital it was to be humble.

Another nasty bitch brought out patience previously unknown to me, through her mean, manipulative management style.

And then there was that one particular fella who thought he was so damn funny and made me a joke target at meetings, only to realise he was training me to be sharper and quicker with repartees.

And so on, and so forth.

And the miraculous thing is, when I think back of these nasty ex-bosses, I no longer detest them, though I once had.

I tend to forget just how mean they once were.

Instead, I feel a sense of zen triumph that I had survived their nasty antics.

I guess this is an in-built Defence System in male species - we can easily let go.

As I pen this, I hope that those who are still suffering under nasty bosses, will learn to manage their situations.

Find a way that can turn your plight into something that works for you.

And hopefully, when it's time to leave that nasty boss of yours, you will take with you whatever goodness that's left in that idiot, and leave him to be consumed by his own negative energy.

My. Look who's the nasty one.